The past week has been an exciting one, an eye opening one, a tremendously sad one and a mind set changing one. I’ve never in my life gone through such a roller coaster of emotions. The highs were oh so high and the lows were knuckle dragging, skin tearing lows. And in the end, I’m still here. You’re still here. Life moves on. Truthfully if I were here or not life would still be trucking on for everyone else anyways. I was listening to Johnny Cash sing his version of Hurt originally by Trent Reznor and Nine Inch Nails (it can be found on the Downward Spiral Album circa. 1994) and this phrase he says struck a massive chord with me. He talks about having it all, his empire of dirt. That got me thinking a bit.
In the end we’re 6 feet under and everything we had is widdled down to nothing. We could have had all the money in the world but in the end where did that get us? We’re still destined for that hole in the ground. No matter which way we slice or dice it that’s where we’re going, in the end. What we do up until that end is what matters. The legacy we leave, the memories people will hold onto, the verses people will write and sing, that’s how we’ll be remembered. Happiness for me, isn’t having the latest and greatest thing (although it is nice), it’s about the people I’m sharing my life with. I don’t have many friends. I’ll be the first to admit that. I have a whole lot of acquaintances and people that I interact with but at the very core of my life I only have a few close friends and that’s it. I like it this way. But how am I going to remembered when I go? If I don’t have a large circle of friends will memories of me just fade away and never see the light of day again? Call me selfish but it scares the hell out of me to be forgotten. So then I ask myself what am I doing today to ensure that I’m never forgotten? I woke up this morning with the will power to make a life change, turn 180 degrees and start checking off things on my list. I’ve already started and I have faith that one day one of the things I check off my list will be the reason I’m going to be remembered. Until then I’ll keep listing and I’ll keep checking things off.
I just really resonate with posts like these. I know Bernard does too, he’s always talking with me about the meaning of life; what his is, what mine is, etc. And I’m pretty sure hearing about Steve Jobs’ death made him think about this stuff a lot as well.
I’m personally glad you fall on the optimistic side of staring the meaninglessness of life in the face and deciding to make your own meaning through epic victory; I’m excited to see what you end up doing :]
I tend to fall on the more pessimistic side of doing whatever I think has the optimal chances for survival and hedonism. I think I’ve given up (for now) on pursuing a legacy, but by no means should you!
Bottom line is: the next time the meaningless abyss is staring you in the face, hit up B and I and we’ll play some MTG :]
Words of wisdom echo through this post.
I too, no longer have many friends. I value family, fellowship, and brotherhood. Your words are inspiring, water for a thirsty man in need; and I thank you.
Claim the life you wish to live.
This is a smart blog. I mean it. You have so much knowledge about this issue, and so much passion. You also know how to make people rally behind it, obviously from the responses. Youve got a design here thats not too flashy, but makes a statement as big as what youre saying. Great job, indeed.